PC Boot Camp

Please forgive the typing blunders. I havent gotten the hang of the international keyboard.

Peace Corps training is like book camp. Im not doing push ups, thankfully, but my days are packed and highly structured from morning to night. Training sessions are intensive and there are group assignments and homework for after hours.

I feel like the PC made a perfect match when they placed me with my host family. It will be hard to leave them in October once I am sworn in. The family has done this many times and has become quite skilled in supporting the cultural immersion while still giving me some personal space. I live in the home of the Representante Honorable, equivalent of a mayor. Because inquiring minds want to know, I have a rustically charming indoor shower and flush toilet. The entire family has been welcoming and very interested in me and my life in the states.

My host mom is a wonderful cook. I feel like I have been eating way to much of all the wrong things but my clothes are quite loose on me. My days are quite physical and climbing the steep hills to get to class every day helps.

Last week we spent a day visiting a volunteer at her site. It was definitely ¨out there¨ geographically but the people were so sweet that it was easy to feel comfortable even though the conditions were quite rustic. Next weekend I will be going to visit another volunteer from Thurs through Sun. One other Aspirante (volunteer candidate) will accompany me. A couple of days ago we were sent out on a scavenger hunt using public transit. Today is our second independent journey using the very colorful ¨Diablo Rojos¨ (Panamas bus system).

Training is really helping me to understand the importance of development work and to figure out my role in it. In week 4 I will learn where my assignment will be and at the end of October I will be moving again. My living conditions are likely to be harsher in the near future but I can see how PC is weaning us off of the comforts and helping us to build a tolerance, and even a desire, for our ultimate destination, whatever it is. Committing to the unknown is scary but I will do it anyway.

At least once a day I ask myself what I am doing here. But at least twice a day I realize that at this moment in time, I would not want to be anyplace else. I miss my friends and family like you would not believe but the calling cannot be ignored.

I dont have Internet access on a daily basis so I dont know when you will hear from me again. I will do my best to keep you up to date.

Blessings to all.

Pure Passion

Webster defines "passion" as a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object or concept. But what exactly is passion?

When I look back upon my life, there were many seasons in which I had a strong liking, desire for or devotion to a job, a hobby, a course of study, an act of service, or a relationship. These were times of happiness, hopefulness, energy and excitement. I shifted my every thought, emotion, and personal resource toward the passion du jour. I made promises, lists, and investments. I sacrificed relationships, spontaneity, fun, and sleep. I woke up early and stayed up late until, predictably, I could do no more and I was left deflated, exhausted, and passionless. As it turned out, what I thought were passions, even those that appeared altruistic, were often selfish indulgences and compulsive distractions.

I have spent the last five days observing passion in the eyes and actions of the Peace Corps staff and seasoned volunteers. I see their passion and I want it. But I also fear it.

How pure is my commitment to international development work? Am I capable of making the long term commitment to the kind of sacrifices I observed today on my first field visit? Am I prepared to shift my entire way of being for the benefit of others? I continue to pray for wisdom, patience, and revelation and will pray the same things for you as you read these words and ponder that which you believe to be your passion, the purity of your motivations, and the sincerity of your commitment.

Grace & Peace,

Anita