My Swearing-In Ceremony

Pics from My Site Visit

Banana country here I come!

A group of women have organized themselves to bake and sell bread. Yum! I will be helping them to structure their business to maximize profits and ensure sustainability.

Some local kids take a break from playing futbol long enough to pose for a picture. (below left) The center of town. (below right)

Feels Like the Real Thing

This week I became a Peace Corps Volunteer. No, I have not yet been sworn in. Technically, I am still a trainee. But this was the week that it all began. The traininings, the charlas, the dinamicas. It all came together and now I feel just a little bit more like a real volunteer.

I spent the past week living and working in an indigenous community in the Ngobe Bugle region. They taught me their rich history, repleat with sorrowful tails of oppression and loss, interrupted by a victorious comarca designation (similar to an indigenous reservation in the U.S.).

Kate, Karen, and I humbly approached our assigned task. We observed, assessed, and analyzed the business operations of an association of gifted female artesians and designed and delivered workshops to meet their needs. Our time with them was brief but we gave them our best.

My host family for the week was loving and generous. I ducked to avoid bumping my head as I entered their humble home and was presented with the Ngobere and Spanish names of each member of the family. They showed me to my "room" a curtained off section of the "house" furnished with a sleeping mat on top of a table top. They were proud to share their home with me. I attempted to honor their pride by not letting on that I knew that they were sleeping three and four to a bed in order to accomodate me. I stopped drinking fluids at 2pm everyday to avoid the frightful after-dark trip to the latrine. I ate what they ate and bathed how they bathed and they rewarded me by inviting me into their hearts. Together we wept over their losses and longings and together we rejoiced over their triumphs, hopes, and dreams.

As I came to understand their battles against man and against nature, I realized that their faith in God is so much bigger than mine. It has to be.

In another three weeks, I will be sworn in and sent to my assigned community. Although I trust that the remaining training sessions are essential, I feel ready. I feel like a Peace Corps Volunteer.

Grace and Peace,

Anita

P.S.
I came back with a nasty parasite. I named it Alfred.

Blisters, Bus Rides, and Beating Clothes Against a Rock

Training week 5 (of 10) was culture week and a group of us were welcomed into the lives of the Ngobes, one of the largest indigeneous groups in Latin America. Overflowing with culture, creativity, and mystery, the island is located in the Bocas region of Panama. Almost everyone speaks Spanish but many are committed to the continuation of Ngobere, their native tongue.

I was treated both as an honored guest and an old family friend, with evenings spent trading stories with Sergio and Lucia and days spent traversing the difficult terrain and taking in the daily experiences. I lay awake each night, tossing my observations, thoughts, and feelings from one end of the mosquito net to the other. Culture. History. Pain. Lack. Desire.

Last week I stepped hundreds of years back in time. Next week promises to be even more challenging. Will the next subculture be as interesting? Could the next family possibly be as sweet as the last one and as loving as those who await my return?

Week 10 of training beckons me as I am drawn to the community that will be my own for the next two years. It also taunts me with the impending and inevitable goodbyes. I am challenged by the promise I made to myself that I would embrace these new relationships, no matter how temporary they are. El amor vale la pena. Love is worthwhile.

Grace & Peace,
Anita

PC Boot Camp

Please forgive the typing blunders. I havent gotten the hang of the international keyboard.

Peace Corps training is like book camp. Im not doing push ups, thankfully, but my days are packed and highly structured from morning to night. Training sessions are intensive and there are group assignments and homework for after hours.

I feel like the PC made a perfect match when they placed me with my host family. It will be hard to leave them in October once I am sworn in. The family has done this many times and has become quite skilled in supporting the cultural immersion while still giving me some personal space. I live in the home of the Representante Honorable, equivalent of a mayor. Because inquiring minds want to know, I have a rustically charming indoor shower and flush toilet. The entire family has been welcoming and very interested in me and my life in the states.

My host mom is a wonderful cook. I feel like I have been eating way to much of all the wrong things but my clothes are quite loose on me. My days are quite physical and climbing the steep hills to get to class every day helps.

Last week we spent a day visiting a volunteer at her site. It was definitely ¨out there¨ geographically but the people were so sweet that it was easy to feel comfortable even though the conditions were quite rustic. Next weekend I will be going to visit another volunteer from Thurs through Sun. One other Aspirante (volunteer candidate) will accompany me. A couple of days ago we were sent out on a scavenger hunt using public transit. Today is our second independent journey using the very colorful ¨Diablo Rojos¨ (Panamas bus system).

Training is really helping me to understand the importance of development work and to figure out my role in it. In week 4 I will learn where my assignment will be and at the end of October I will be moving again. My living conditions are likely to be harsher in the near future but I can see how PC is weaning us off of the comforts and helping us to build a tolerance, and even a desire, for our ultimate destination, whatever it is. Committing to the unknown is scary but I will do it anyway.

At least once a day I ask myself what I am doing here. But at least twice a day I realize that at this moment in time, I would not want to be anyplace else. I miss my friends and family like you would not believe but the calling cannot be ignored.

I dont have Internet access on a daily basis so I dont know when you will hear from me again. I will do my best to keep you up to date.

Blessings to all.

Pure Passion

Webster defines "passion" as a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object or concept. But what exactly is passion?

When I look back upon my life, there were many seasons in which I had a strong liking, desire for or devotion to a job, a hobby, a course of study, an act of service, or a relationship. These were times of happiness, hopefulness, energy and excitement. I shifted my every thought, emotion, and personal resource toward the passion du jour. I made promises, lists, and investments. I sacrificed relationships, spontaneity, fun, and sleep. I woke up early and stayed up late until, predictably, I could do no more and I was left deflated, exhausted, and passionless. As it turned out, what I thought were passions, even those that appeared altruistic, were often selfish indulgences and compulsive distractions.

I have spent the last five days observing passion in the eyes and actions of the Peace Corps staff and seasoned volunteers. I see their passion and I want it. But I also fear it.

How pure is my commitment to international development work? Am I capable of making the long term commitment to the kind of sacrifices I observed today on my first field visit? Am I prepared to shift my entire way of being for the benefit of others? I continue to pray for wisdom, patience, and revelation and will pray the same things for you as you read these words and ponder that which you believe to be your passion, the purity of your motivations, and the sincerity of your commitment.

Grace & Peace,

Anita

What's In It For Me?

The Peace Corps is dedicated to promoting world peace and friendship while providing a much needed service.

Because I am not completely clear on what my role as community economic development consultant will entail, my service goals are a little vague. If history repeats itself, it is highly likely that I will be doing a lot of writing, speaking, teaching, relationship building, coalition building, leadership coaching, and teambuilding. These have been the common denominators throughout my career. But what's in it for me?

I must confess that I spend just as much time these days, thinking about who I will be when I return as I do thinking about the actual experience of serving. How will these new relationships and experiences impact me? How will I readjust to life back in the States? How will I transition back into gainful employment? Will I still be passionate about international development work?

I spent this weekend thinking about my personal goals for my 2+ years in Panama and this is what I came up with:

1. To do no harm.
2. To facilitate and participate in sincere relationships.
3. To strengthen my Spanish language ability.
4. To better understand development work.
5. To find my place as a professional in international development work.

Joining the Peace Corps in mid-life is risky but I believe it is a risk worth taking. Somewhere out there is a problem that needs attention, a seed that needs to be watered, a hand that needs to be held. Some people answer the call by doing these things right here in the U.S. For me, the call is to far off places and I could not live with myself if I ignored it.

I realize that anything can happen between now and the time I land in Panama. But I am committed and I am moving forward. What about you? Are you stepping into your calling or are you letting the what-ifs hold you back? The world needs you and yes, the world includes that which is right outside your front door. Step out... and together we can be agents for change and objects of change.